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Despite what you may think, if it seems you can never do enough, be enough, or are derailed by disapproval, I doubt you are weak, disorganized, or lack willpower. And you are not alone! Many bright capable, organized, and motivated women have come in to see me feeling depressed, anxious, depressed and overwhelmed because of their fears of not being “good enough”, or because of how easily they can be derailed by disapproval. And I have yet to meet a woman who feels her body is as it should be.
So, why is it that so many women feel they don’t measure up or find themselves constantly scrambling for approval or to be more?
This is where we start in Never Enough—part one explores the strong forces keeping us, as women, looking outside of ourselves for how we “should” be, while abandoning our true selves, our internal wisdom, and all that we were meant to be in this life.
We will look at,
- our history and what it has meant and continues to mean to be female.
- a learned style of relating, or an intimacy style, that keeps women feeling trapped and unsafe to trust themselves.
- the influence of big businesses and social media.
We will also explore the role of the brain—which acts as an internal force, maintaining “business as usual”. If you have had a hard time changing these patterns, it is most likely your brain and not your degree of confidence or motivation that has held you back.
Efficiency is a priority for the brain, and using well-established routes, or pathways is much more efficient than creating new ones. Why take a road under construction when you can take a well-known highway?
And these patterns of behavior are often linked with safety in the brain. Because of this, knowledge is rarely enough to change them.
To do that, you need specific skills. Part two of the book is devoted to those skills—the skills of the BLOOM model.
In the BLOOM model, you will learn how to
- build a strong internal foundation of safety based on your internal wisdom and strength.
- identify your feelings and how to use them as guides to determine what you need.
- give yourself what you need in a way that maintains your sanity and your relationships.
- identify underlying, outdated assumptions that may be keeping you stuck.
These skills will help you
- feel more confident, comfortable, and secure in your own skin.
- communicate your needs effectively, even if others disagree.
- give yourself time to relax and do things you enjoy.
- align with your greatest desires and your larger purpose.
- bloom into all you were meant to be.
My vision for you and for all women is a move from the outdated pull to find safety through approval to a place grounded on the firm foundation of your own wisdom—feeling safe to be yourself, to support and be supported by other women as well as by larger sources of support like the spiritual.
I want you to have the chance to bloom and blossom in the magnificent way that is only possible for you.
Have you been waiting for your moment—your moment to bloom? If so, please don’t wait any longer! Click the link below and purchase your copy now, before someone or something pulls you away with yet another thing you need to do.
Think how very good it will feel to say with conviction,
“I deserve to be me—even if you disagree!“
Ideas for reflection—the Never Enough Companion Workbook
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Do you ever find yourself trying to squeeze notes in the margins of a book? Do you run out of room, have trouble deciphering what you wrote, or later have trouble finding a note you wrote on a scrap of paper? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?
To help you avoid all that frustration, I created a companion workbook for Never Enough. In this workbook, you’ll have a place to take notes on each chapter and to write or illustrate your answers to the ideas for reflection questions found in the book. These questions provide an opportunity to apply what you are reading in the book to your own life.
I hope this workbook will make it easier for you to take notes, to “underline” what is most important for you in separating your worth from approval, and to practice the skills of the BLOOM model.
Cheering you on as you bloom and blossom,