Deb Lang PsyD, RD; Licensed Psychologist

I’m so glad you are here!

I am a Licensed Psychologist and my passion is helping women learn to access and trust their own inner knowing.

Do you feel a yearning deep inside to:

  • be more,
  • to have more of your true desires,
  • to discover your gifts and,
  • let your light shine in the world?

And, at the same time, do you feel stuck? Maybe even afraid?

Do you worry that you won’t be good enough, attractive enough, thin enough?

Are you terrified that other’s will disapprove?

it’s hiding underneath

Over the years, I have worked with many many women.

Rarely does a woman walk in my door and say, “my problem is that I need others to be happy with me in order to feel okay”, or “I want to access and rely on my own internal strength and wisdom.”

Instead women come to be because they are feeling anxious, depressed, have health or body concerns or can’t control their eating.

as women unravel or "peel the onion" of their concerns this need for approval of others shows up

It is only when we start to unravel these concerns or “peel the layers of the onion”, so to speak, that we find this deep need to please and a disconnect from the wisdom inside.

The looking outside for answers and the notion of needing other’s approval in order to feel okay is often so much a part of a woman’s internal makeup that it is not until it is begins to reveal itself as the basis for other concerns that there is even an awareness of its existence.

worth from the outside

As women, our worth is often been determined by what we do for others or by our appearance.

From the time we are children we are told to be “good girls”, to be “nice”, to look “nice”, to be “pleasing”.  Our bodies are judged by size and how attractive or pleasing it is to others.  

We are praised for making ourselves smaller.

This looking outside for approval, disconnects us from our own internal compass and wisdom.

It also leaves us vulnerable.

the unreliable “mirror”

When our “answers” and sense of being “okay” or acceptable comes from the outside, we are vulnerable.

Feedback from the outside is rarely predictable or stable, right?

Some people might feel strongly you do things one way – others might disagree.

One day people in your life might compliment you and the next day not.

And sometimes those compliments that you hoped for can stir up unexpected or uncomfortable feelings

“You look really good today!”

can lead to worries of “Well what did I look like yesterday?”

Or, what others find attractive or pleasing may not really line up with your truth and inner knowing.

Can you relate? Do others see you as an apple and inside you are called to be an orange?

Do you swing from feeling good about yourself to feeling unacceptable or even hopeless based on other people’s reactions or lack of reaction?

As a result, do you lack confidence or maybe paralyzed to let your light shine in the world?

my evolution as a therapist

I didn’t start out knowing that my gift and passion would be helping women connect with their inner wisdom and strength while detangling their worth and value from outside acknowledgment.

For a good many years, I worked hard to help people change, in one way or another.

I have been a “go to” therapist for anxiety and eating issues. Resolving those issues often has meant helping clients face old hurts, trauma and loss.

At some point it hit me.

I realized that what really made a difference in people’s lives was not when they changed but when they started feeling compassion and acceptance for themselves.

And for women, the step before that is often noticing how much sense of self-worth and confidence is tied to the approval of others.

bringing it back inside

This awareness led to a shift in the focus of my work. A shift from helping people solve the problems in their life to helping women bring their source of safety, acceptance and confidence back inside.

When you love, accept and feel compassion for yourself – light side/dark side – with all of your imperfections, that’s when things really start to move and shift. 

That was when things really start happening.

And, the possibilities open up.

It is amazing to watch – to experience – to witness.

There is nothing more rewarding!

And that is what I want for you.

your treasure chest

Loving self-acceptance is the key that opens the door to the wisdom and strength that is already inside of you.

Connection with your internal strength and wisdom is like having your own personal

  • treasure chest
  • cheerleader
  • security blanket and,
  • your own internal map

A map that is yours and yours alone.

When you don’t love and accept yourself you are disconnected from that internal map and from that security.

disconnection shows up in many ways.

When love and acceptance isn’t coming from you, soothing has to come from something or someone else.

It isn’t a choice, your and brain and nervous system will require this.

Reliance on things outside of ourselves for soothing or comfort often leads to more problems or a sense of vulnerability and fear.

Disconnection shows up in,

  • fear or anxiety
  • issues with food or body image
  • a struggle to be “good enough”
  • a need to keep others happy in order to feel okay
  • or by a sense of being on a roller-coaster – going from feeling fine one moment to the depths of despair in the next.

Life is scary when you are disconnected from your love for yourself and from your internal wisdom.

When your sense of security or feeling that you are “okay” comes from the outside, it can leave you feeling vulnerable and never quite good enough.

the problem with trying

Striving only leads to more striving.  We are never quite there.

Never quite calm enough, self-assured enough, thin enough, etc.

That feeling of “not being there” of not being “good enough” is stressful. It saps confidence and motivation.

In the body, the stress hormones are released that put a damper on our ability to take perspective, to see all that we have accomplished and to think clearly.

Self-acceptance and compassion allow for a sense of peace and calm that aren’t possible when we are striving.  

worried you don’t have internal strength or wisdom?

It’s there, don’t worry.

You are just not connected with it.

It is most likely being overshadowed by beliefs that have become your reality.

Beliefs that you are,

  • Powerless
  • Not good enough
  • Pretty enough
  • Thin enough
  • Or fill in the blank

And underneath all of that there is a different truth.  Waiting for you to access it.

It is your truth. Not mine or anyone else’s – yours.

The answers are not in what others tell you or think of you – including me.

The answers are there and they are inside of you.

want more info?

Click on any one of the images below to learn more.

Why it all starts with loving self-acceptance
Why not focus on problems
But what if I can feel compassion for myself

Ready to start embracing the real you?

I may be in the wilds of Montana and there are a variety of ways that you can learn or work with me!

Click here to learn more

I’d love to talk to you

If you are unsure where to start, send me a note or give me a call and we can talk about what would be best for you.