This post is the second in a series on Rethinking Anxiety—a series designed to provide a fresh perspective on anxiety. 

My first memorable experience with anxiety was while I was living in New Orleans and Alabama was playing at the Super Dome, which happened to be right across the street from the medical dorms where I was living. My college roommate’s friend was going to school in Alabama, and was coming to the game, and he invited me along.

I don’t remember struggling with meeting new people before that time, and for some reason I was extremely uncomfortable all night. I remember my neck and face muscles being so tight that it was hard to talk or smile. It was a very long night—one that should have been fun and instead was miserable.

Have you had times like that? 

I really don’t want to admit how many years ago that was now, and I can still remember the discomfort of that night.

I share my experience because I want you to know that I understand how uncomfortable anxiety can be. 

My worry is that the more we talk about, and fear, anxiety the more problems we are causing. Here’s what I mean by that.

Something must be wrong

Almost everyone who has come to me for help with their anxiety has believed that something was wrong with them—that their body was malfunctioning. 

This is certainly understandable, as the symptoms are uncomfortable and they often feel out of place.

And all the publicity around anxiety reinforces the belief that it is unnatural and should be eliminated. 

Just yesterday I was online and noticed a picture of a very young child with a caption along the lines of, “How to tell if your young child is anxious and what to do about it.”

That certainly gives the impression that anxiety is something to worry about, doesn’t it?

Just to be clear, I’m not saying that anxiety is never problematic or that some of us don’t have a greater propensity toward experiencing it than others. 

Certainly, genetics plays a role, as does temperament and personal history, in determining how much anxiety an individual will experience. Even the experiences of our predecessors can influence our experience with anxiety.

And a big part of what worsens anxiety is the way we think about it. 

Fearing symptoms designed to protect

We seem to have it backward. We believe something is wrong because the symptoms are uncomfortable when, in fact, the nervous system has detected a threat of some type and is taking action to protect us.

Let me say that in another way. What we view as problematic is actually a sign that the nervous system has mobilized the body’s resources to help us deal with a challenge or a threat.

I will come back to the challenge response in a future post.

The threat could be an internal physical threat like dehydration or low blood sugar, or it could be a threat detected from our thinking, our memories, or our imagination. And of course, the threat could be external.

Response to an external threat

I think most of us are familiar with the nervous system’s response to an external threat. 

Imagine you are in a parking lot and there is a loud bang. Your nervous system is going to instantaneously mobilize your body to react in an effort to keep you safe. 

You will immediately be hyper-alert for danger. You might be running through scenarios in your mind about what could be happening. 

In this day of mass shootings, you may have immediately ducked behind a vehicle. Your body will prepare to either run, fight, or freeze. This preparation will result in changes in body functions like breathing and heart rate. Or you might feel faint. 

These changes in our bodies’ functions are what we notice when we are anxious. Changes that would feel normal if we were running or fighting—and don’t feel the least bit comfortable in facing daily stressors.

If you worry that what I am describing doesn’t apply to you because your anxiety just comes out of nowhere, keep an eye out for my next post, “But My Anxiety Comes Out of the Blue!”  

And, even if it seems to come out of nowhere, how you react to it will determine what happens next.

How our reactions impact our symptoms

If the symptoms that we label as anxiety are, in fact, evidence that the nervous system has detected a threat and has mobilized the body’s defense systems, what will happen if those symptoms scare us?

The symptoms are going to get worse. Feeling afraid, along with worried thinking, are signals to the nervous system of a threat. 

So, the more afraid I feel of my symptoms, the more my body will try to help me deal with that fear by further gearing the body up to run, fight, or freeze.

More fear and worry will lead to more changes in the body.

If my life is in danger, this will be perfect. If I am sitting on the couch already feeling afraid of the changes in my body, this will be the worst possible scenario. It could lead to a full-blown stress response in the body or what is described as a panic attack.

What do you think?

If the symptoms we describe as anxiety are, in fact, the body gearing up to help us face a challenge or a threat, and the word anxiety gives the sense that something is wrong, should we keep using that term?

What term do you think we should use? 

I’d love to hear your ideas, so please share! You can do so by leaving a comment below or emailing me at [email protected]. Please pass this post on to anyone who might benefit from it.

And be sure to stay tuned for my next post, “But My Anxiety Comes Out of the Blue!”

With warmth and kindness,
Deb

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If you find it hard to be yourself in the world, need to keep others happy to feel okay about yourself, or get derailed by disapproval, check out my book Never Enough—Separating Self-Worth from Approval

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